Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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