Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize