It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
