I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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