If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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