How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize