Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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