Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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