She announced her abortion via fbk
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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