And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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