I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
