If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
her vagine was all disorganized.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
what is it with giant penises always finding me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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