you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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