Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
