Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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