Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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