I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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