I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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