About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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