he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
