i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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