last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
