This girl is more easily done than said...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
