just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize