Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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