it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
