You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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