Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
