The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
