I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize