did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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