Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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