You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
