the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
