Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
