He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
