You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Sober January is a disaster.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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