Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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