I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
