Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize