what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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