i would punch a child for taco bell
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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