do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
