Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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