no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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