there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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