So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
