so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
