I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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