i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
