you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
