I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
