i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
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