been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
