So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we made out on top of his cat.
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then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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