Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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