Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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