So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
