Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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