I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
