You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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