Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
