i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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