we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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