Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
