GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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