I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How external is "for external use only"?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
