i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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