You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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