we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
