She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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