Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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