whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
