What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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