She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
