my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
