remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Terrible idea I love it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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